


If Only You Knew

by Trustmeimahealer



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, They're in the 1920s!, and the doctor is like blind, and yaz decides to pull, but they're at a glam party, its like great gatsby, theres a bunch of OCs at the party, they're just like soft for each other, yasmin pines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-10 02:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17417498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trustmeimahealer/pseuds/Trustmeimahealer
Summary: Yaz and the Doctor go on a solo trip to a roaring cocktail party in 1920s New York. They both get more than a bit drunk and there's a whole lot of UST.





	1. Chapter 1

Yaz  _ loved  _ the 1920s. Ever since she read a battered old copy of The Great Gatsby she’d found in the back of the school library in year 10, she’d fallen in love with the sheer glamour of the era. Of course, Yaz new it wasn’t all cocktail parties and sweeping romances but god, did she still dream of it, especially on those long shifts settling parking disputes. 

 

It was odd, perhaps that the thought hadn’t occurred to Yaz before, as she watches the Doctor tinker with the controls of the TARDIS. She could go wherever the hell she liked. 

 

Yaz approaches the Doctor coyly, although sure she will agree to her request, knowing how easily startled she could be when she was deep in focus. “Doctor?” 

 

The question is full of hope and the Doctor perks up at the sound of it, fixing Yaz an insatiable grin as she leans against the controls. “Yaz.”

 

Yaz relaxes a little at the Doctor’s easy smile and leans next to her, hands millimeters apart. “Would it be possible for us to go to 1920s New York?”

 

The Doctor quirks a brow, appraising Yaz with a look she couldn’t decipher. Yaz tried not to blush under the intensity of her gaze. The moment broke and the Doctor looked away, pushing herself off the counter with gusto. “Yes! The roaring twenties! Speakeasies! Flappers!” She rushes round the side of the controls pressing buttons and pulling levers seemingly in random order. 

 

“Doctor, wait,” Yaz begins but is cut off when the Doctor pulls another lever and the TARDIS jolts into action, knocking them both off balance. 

 

“We’ll have to be careful with dates though, we might end up bumping into some pig people.” The Doctor yells over the racket of the TARDIS, eyes lighting up in a manic grin. 

 

“But what about Ryan and Graham!” Yaz shouts, clinging onto the railing as the TARDIS rights itself. 

 

The Doctor’s gasp of realization is all the more obvious now that the TARDIS has quietened. “Ryan and Graham are still in Tesco!” She drops her head into her hands dramatically. “Aw man, I can’t believe I did that! This body just gets so excited!”

 

“Can we not just go back and get them?” Yaz asks, moving closer to The Doctor once more. “Graham will be distraught to miss the jazz.” 

 

The Doctor shakes her head, mouth twisting in dismay. “I’ve been around this era, this place, too much. The TARDIS won’t risk taking us there and back so close, there’s too high a chance I’ll run into my own timeline.” She looks at Yaz, hazel eyes piercing in their intensity. “So we can go now, just the two of us or we can go back for the boys and try again some other time.” 

 

Yaz falters, caught between guilt and excitement. On the one hand, the idea of exploring her favourite place at her favourite time with her favourite person could only ever be wonderful to Yaz, the sheer concept of New York with The Doctor made her heart flutter. But it would be New York with The Doctor, her friend, and Ryan and Graham helped to ground her in that reality. It’s a hell of a lot easier not to find a situation romantic when Graham is sulking about a soggy sandwich in the background. 

 

The Doctor seems to register her hesitation, she rests a reassuring hand upon her shoulder. “I’m so sorry Yaz, this is my fault. I’ll explain what happened to the boys myself.” She sighs in disappointment as the TARDIS lands with a final jolt. “We should probably just head back though.” 

 

The Doctor moves toward the controls but Yaz stops her with a hand on her wrist. “Wait,” The Doctor looks at her with wide, questioning eyes. “What are the chances the TARDIS will let us come back?” 

 

The real question was whether Yaz would still be traveling with the Doctor by the time it would be possible, they both knew they didn’t have forever together. The Doctor looks at her seriously for a moment. “I don’t know, could be a month or it could be 100 years. I can promise to try though.” 

 

“And if we go out now?” Yaz tries to keep her voice even, tries not to notice the rapid double pulse under her fingertips. 

 

The Doctor smiles, wide and full of wonder. “Then we’re right around the corner of one of the hottest speakeasies in town.” 

 

Yaz fights the grin pulling at her lips. “Ryan wouldn’t like having to dress up, anyway.” 

 

The Doctor nods in sage agreement. “And Graham would hate the noise.” 

 

Yaz barks out a laugh, lifting her hand from the Doctors wrist and trying not to miss the contact. “You and me in New York then?” 

 

The Doctor gives her another starry look and Yaz has to stop her knees from going weak. “Yasmin Khan, I can think of nothing better.”  The Doctor takes her hand off the lever and makes her away toward the back of the TARDIS. 

 

Yaz frowns in puzzlement. “Are we not going outside then?” 

 

The Doctor shakes her head with a mischievous smile. “Oh Yaz, have I not shown you my costume wardrobe yet?’ 

 

Yaz shook her head, biting her lip as the Doctor moved toward her. “I don’t think so.”

 

The Doctor grabbed her hand to pull her closer, almost vibrating with excitement. “You’re in for a treat.” 

 

Yaz gulped and allowed herself to be dragged, already wrestling for control over her racing heart. 

 

In for a treat indeed. 

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaz and The Doctor get ready and there's a sizeable amount of UST. 
> 
> Just a couple of cute moments before they go to the party

The Doctor’s costume wardrobe was actually the size of Yaz’s whole flat, a series of interconnected sections with racks of clothing from different eras in all colours and sizes, a large red velvet chaise lounge taking centre stage with a full-length mirror in front.  

 

The Doctor gravitated immediately toward the suits, eyeing up a bowtie before swiftly deciding against it. She hums to herself as Yaz watches her, tinkering with the control panel near the doors. All of a sudden, the racks recede into the walls, a mechanical whirring filling the space as the clothes are replaced with all 1920s attire. The Doctor grins at Yaz triumphantly. “I’ve set it to this year so we don’t have to worry about being out of date or too far ahead. Don’t want to look too out of place, even for this crowd.” 

 

Yaz nods gratefully, the last thing she’d want to do is turn up and be chucked out. The thought gives her pause for a moment as she thumbs the beads on a rather daring black dress. “Doctor?”

 

The Doctor looks up, nose scrunched at the apprehension in Yaz’s voice. “What's up?”

 

“Its not,” Yaz sighs, hating the sheer thought of it, “It's not going to be like when we went to Alabama, right? No one is going to ask me to leave for being,” 

 

The Doctor cuts her off. “Not here.” She makes her way over to Yaz, a little sheepish. “I won’t take you anywhere like that again, Yaz.” 

 

Yaz smiles softly, resisting the urge to press a kiss upon the Doctor’s frown. “Good.” She pushes the Doctor back playfully and grabs a dress from the rack behind her. “Now go get dressed, the party won’t wait forever.” 

 

The Doctor smiles at her and puts her hands up in mock surrender. “I mean I parked with 3 hours to spare from the party starting but by all means,” she waved her hands toward the door, “take your dress and make yourself pretty.” The Doctor’s eyes widened comically as she recognized her words, sputtering, “I didn’t mean, that. I mean you’re always pretty. I just meant,” 

 

Yaz steps forward, grabbing The Doctors wrists to still her wildly gesticulating arms. “I know what you meant, Doctor.” 

 

Yaz stumbles forward a little, caught by the Doctors hands on her hips and all of a sudden they’re incredibly close. Yaz looks at the Doctor a moment, at the flush creeping up her neck, at her parted lips and then at those expressive hazel eyes, sparkling like they held their own galaxies inside of them. The Doctor stares right back, searching Yasmin’s eyes as if trying to find an answer to a very important question. Yaz doesn’t know if she wants her to find the answer yet. 

 

Yaz pulls away, reluctantly, snapping the Doctor out of her thoughts as she shuffles back with a look of apology. Yaz turns and makes to leave without saying anything at all, but a sudden inexplicable surge of confidence overcame her. She paused at the door and turned back toward the awkward Doctor. “I’m glad you think I’m pretty though.”

 

The Doctor sputters and turns away in time for Yaz to slip out. 

  
  


\----------

* * *

 

 

It takes Yaz two and a half hours to get ready. Not because any part of the process was particularly time-consuming - the TARDIS has all manner of contraptions which made minutes of her hair and makeup - but because she couldn’t quite focus on the task at hand. 

 

Every movement triggered another overwhelming wave of thought; why had she left the Doctor? Did the Doctor really think she was pretty? What would have happened if Yaz kissed her? Would the Doctor have kissed Yaz? 

 

The questions whirl around her brain, cluttering her mind. If only she had the courage to stay with the Doctor in there, to see the moment out until its end, but the feelings that stirred up within her could never be spoken of. At least, not until Yaz is ready. 

 

And how could Yaz ever be ready to tell a woman who’s lived so many wonderful lives that she, a police officer from Sheffield, that she was slowly (quickly) falling for her?

 

Yaz shook her head and looked at her reflection in the mirror of her room. She certainly didn’t look like an ordinary police officer from sheffield tonight though, her dress a deep navy blue with gold beads across the lace stopping a fair way above her knee. Her mother, Yaz knew, would certainly have some choice words about the length of his skirt but it was en vogue for the time and it was hardly as if it would make waves with this crowd. 

 

Her hair was tightly curled in a fashionable bob that made Yaz feel like a silent movie star, a flick of black eyeliner and mascara boosting her confidence that little bit more. Perhaps if there were ever a night she could win over the Doctor, this would be it. 

 

Then at least she would know for sure. 

 

There was a knock on the door and The Doctor’s face popped out from behind it, a hand over her eyes in an attempt at chivalry. “I hate to rush you, Yaz but I’d hoped we could go for a walk before the party. Never hurts to get your bearings for these sorts of things.”  

 

Yaz wants to question what ‘things’ the Doctor was referring to exactly, but decided to take pity on the flustered blonde instead. “You can look.” 

 

The Doctor moves fully into the room, looking rather dashing in an immaculately tailored black tux, a TARDIS blue bow tie loose around her open collar, revealing just the top of her collarbone in a way Yaz hadn’t known could be so appealing. The Doctors hair was curled, not unlike Yaz’s but obviously much shorter, when she moved her hand Yaz saw a dark swoosh of eyeliner and knew she was most definitely a goner. The Doctor took in the sight of her, eyes wide and starry even under the dark of her makeup. “Oh Yaz, you do look pretty.”

 

Yaz grinned despite the flush creeping up her neck. “As do you.” She steps forward, running a finger over the gold lining of the tux appreciatively. “I don’t think I’ve seen you look so dashing, Doctor.” 

 

The Doctor grins at her a little smugly. “Well, I do try my best.” She turns her attention to Yaz’s dress, picking at a bead with the softest of smiles. “I like this.”

 

Yaz blushes and tries her best not to look away, they’re almost as close as they were earlier and Yaz wonders if The Doctor can hear her heart hammering in her chest. “I figured you might.” 

 

The Doctor raises an eyebrow, taken aback just a little and Yaz wonders if it was too much, if she had played her hand too soon. But the Doctor fixes her an easy, affectionate smile and pushes back a little to offer Yaz her arm. “Would you like to join me for a walk in the night air?” 

 

Yaz doesn’t know whether to swoon or laugh at the old-timey accent the Doctor adopts, but she takes the Doctor’s arm gratefully. “I can think of nothing better.” 

At that moment, Yasmin Khan was telling the absolute truth. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please assume that Graham and Ryan are in a limbo of looking through tesco meal deal options for this whole fanfiction.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaz and the Doctor have a little walk and go to the party. 
> 
> Yaz has a lot to think about and The Doctor is cute

It was one of those summer evenings that Yaz absolutely adored, the cool of the night air mixing with the radiating heat off the ground in a way that always left Yaz feeling a fizz of tension. 

 

Of course, this tension could have a lot more to do with the fact that the Doctor is so close, in that suit, arms linked with Yaz’s as she practically vibrates with excitement. 

 

It takes every ounce of patience in her body not to swing the Doctor in front of her and kiss her before they even bothered going to the party, anxious to get rid of the simmering anxiety of not knowing. Yet this, Yaz knew, was a game of patience, of pushing little by little until she knew for sure.

 

Afterall, The Doctor was just as likely to reject her with a polite smile and then how could Yaz ever stay. Even if the Doctor promised to keep it between them, there could be no guarantee that Ryan and Graham wouldn’t discover in some way or another. The mere thought of their pitying expressions is enough to bring Yaz back down hard and fast. 

 

The Doctor turns to her and points to a distant group of revelers giggling at the top of the street. “Do we think they’re going where we are?” 

 

Yaz wants to look at the Doctor, wants to bask in excitement for the night to come and let the Time Lady’s giddiness guide her through the night. But there’s a pit in Yaz’s stomach now, the repercussions of a possible rejection weighing her down. So she keeps her eyes on the group ahead and shrugs. 

 

The Doctor frowns a little, her nose scrunched at Yaz’s sudden loss of energy. “I hope so,” she continues “I would rather like to steal that man’s hat.” 

 

Yaz looks at the Doctor, incredulity distracting her from her thoughts. “I would have thought you’d be anti-theft, I mean, you’re always going on about doing the right thing,”

 

“Nah, theft is fine. I even stole the TARDIS.” The Doctor shrugs, not quite seeing Yaz’s point. 

 

“How on earth did you steal the TARDIS? She’s not exactly inconspicuous!” Yaz exclaims, fighting not to let judgment into her voice. She is a police officer after all. 

 

The Doctor looks at her as if she’s a child she has to explain an adult problem to and Yaz sort of wants to hit her in spite of all of her feelings. “That’s not the point.” The Doctor then gives her a cheeky grin and Yaz sort of wants to forgive all of it. “Anyway, there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. So is it really stealing?”

 

Yaz rolls her eyes goodnaturedly. “I hope someone says that to me next time I’m at work.” 

 

The Doctor looks at Yaz like she wants to say something important but her eyeline waivers as she catches sight of something behind Yaz. “I think that’s where the party is.” 

 

The Doctor points down the alley behind her and Yaz wonders, not for the first time, if The Doctor always picks the creepiest possible places. But The Doctor smiles, wide and enthusiastic and Yaz can’t help but grin back and hold onto her arm, and really, Yaz knows no matter that she’ll be safe so long as they’re together. 

 

The Doctor’s smile softens but stays firm and sincere as she searches Yaz’s eyes for a moment and it occurs to Yaz that perhaps she may have said that aloud. She blushes at the attention and glances around. “What?” 

 

The Doctor shakes her head and drops her arm, breaking the contact between them. “Nothing.” She begins to move down the alley, leaving Yaz to catch up with her. “You’ve got to be careful with the cocktails, mind, prohibition alcohol is a helluva lot stronger than you’d expect.” 

 

Yaz tries not to get whiplash from the change in tone, desperate for the reassurance of The Doctor’s touch once more. “Can you even get drunk?” 

 

The Doctor barks out a laugh and knocks five times on the non-descript door. “Oh yes, I most certainly can.” The Doctor pauses, fixing Yaz a quizzical look. “Wait, can  _ you  _ get drunk?” 

 

Yaz settles by the Doctors side and shrugs. “I can and I do.” 

 

The door opens before The Doctor can press further and Yaz sighs in relief, she didn’t like discussing the particular relationship she had with her faith and alcohol even if she knew The Doctor would never judge her either way. She simply wished to relax and have fun with The Doctor for an evening without any deep discussions.

 

A rather gruff looking man in a flat cap emerged  from behind the door and Yaz almost berates the Doctor for bringing her to the wrong place but he looks between them with an understanding nod. “Password?” 

 

The Doctor keeps her chin high, unable to be intimidated even as the man towers above her. “Spaghetti.” 

 

The man nods and steps aside to let them in. “Have a wonderful night, ladies” 

 

Yaz turns to the Doctor as they’re lead through a narrow corridor. “Have you been here before?”

 

The Doctor smiles wistfully. “Once or twice, in a different face.” 

 

Yaz wants to ask more, but another door is opened and she is overcome with sensation. The first thing that becomes obvious is the blasting sound of jazz, the horns screaming above the chatter and laughter of people inside. The room itself felt impossibly grand for the building it was situated in, Yaz was reminded a little of the TARDIS in that respect, there were even balconies up the top where particularly well to do guests were looking down at the party below. 

 

“It used to be a theatre.” The Doctor supplies, watching Yaz take in the space. “A bad one, mind you, but I figured it fit the glamour you were after.” 

 

Yaz turns to the Doctor and grins at her like she’s just hung the moon. “Its beautiful.” 

 

Three young women run past them, squealing in delight as a man with a roman centurion helmet chases them shouting jumbled phrases in latin that Yaz can’t make out over the laughter in his voice. 

 

The mood, it seems, is infectious as Yaz bursts out in laughter as soon as she meets the Doctor’s eyes. “Come on, let’s get a drink.” 

 

The Doctor grins back at her and offers her arm up once more but Yaz falters, looking around the room nervously. “What?” 

 

Yaz shuffles on the spot, a little uneasy. “Doctor, I know you said this crowd was liberal but,” She looks about the crowd, “you’re already wearing  _ that _ and I’m, well, I already stand out as it is.” She sighs but catches the Doctor’s hand in her own for a moment to spite herself. “I just don’t want to draw any unwelcome attention.” 

 

The Doctor grins and grips onto Yaz’s hand even tighter. “I know this might go against what you expect of this period, but we really are safe to be who we are here.” 

 

Yaz relaxes and rus her thumb over the Doctors knuckles absentmindedly. There are so many questions Yaz still wants to ask, even if it is socially acceptable for them to be together here, are they together here? 

 

The limbo of it makes her head spin and the Doctor, as always, catches her with a squeeze of her hand. “Drink?” 

 

Yaz nods, grateful, and allows herself to lead to the bar. 

 

Something tells her she has a long night ahead. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry but The Doctor has seen too much of the universe to be a fan of capitalism and thats just facts


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little tease of a chapter  
> our favorite idiots dance together and Yaz is confused for a number of reasons

The Doctor wasn’t kidding, it transpired, when she had said the drinks were strong. Yaz was only just finishing her second drink and she already felt the familiar buzz of intoxication. If she were back home it would easy take another drink and a half to get anywhere close to this tipsy. 

 

The Doctor, on the other hand, seems not to be as affected, calmly sipping on her G&T and watching Yaz put her empty glass down on their table. “Careful.” 

 

The Doctors voice is low and full of warning and Yaz feels another familiar, much different, stirring in her stomach. “You’ve barely started.” Yaz points to the nearly full drink in The Doctor’s hand. “I assumed I was drinking for both of us.” 

 

The Doctor raises an eyebrow in recognition of the challenge. “Oh, you’re so on, Yasmin Khan.”

 

The Doctor proceeds to down the rest of her drink, seemingly in one mouthful, and honestly? If Yaz wasn’t turned on before she certainly was now. 

 

The Doctor stands and holds her hand out for Yaz to take with that same starry-eyed look that she always has when they’re about to go on some bold new adventure. “I think it’s time we danced, don’t you?” 

 

Yaz grins up at her and takes her hand with absolute enthusiasm. “I’d love to.”

 

The Doctor leads them to the dancefloor, by the time she’s been lead to the centre Yaz can barely see the stage for all of the people crowded around her. Everyone seems to be doing the Charleston or some other high energy dances and a stir of anxiety begins to knot in her stomach as she realises that she has never danced to anything even close to this type of music before. The Doctor seems to notice her anxiety and stops a dashing young waiter with a tray of shots, passing one to Yaz with a wink before taking one herself. They both down their shots, holding each other’s gaze as they try not to get jostled by the movement of the crowd around them. Yaz shivers in response to the strength of the spirit and the Doctor’s nose scrunches in hushed laughter, her hands fall to Yaz’s waist and she pulls her a little closer. “Follow my lead.” 

 

For a moment the Doctor does nothing and Yaz wonders perhaps if that shot was too much after downing her drink, but the Doctor’s eyes are still clear and focused, and Yaz knows that she’s still very much in control. Yaz must have been watching The Doctor too intently because when she meets her eyes she quickly looks away with an uncomfortable smile. 

 

Yaz is about to pull away, apologise, but the song changes with a thundering of drums and suddenly The Doctor pulls her incredibly close and they’re spinning together to the music and Yaz can’t think of anything at all. 

 

The Doctor, of course, is a terrific dancer and Yaz, of course, is a very quick learner so it takes no time at all until they find the rhythm of the song and Yaz feels more confident. The Doctor also seems to love spinning her whenever there’s a break in the music or lifting her up in the air in pure glee when the sax kicks in. 

 

People are beginning to watch them by the time the song ends and Yaz barely has time to get self-conscious or even catch her breath because the next song starts up right away and The Doctor looks at her with those big, enthusiastic eyes. “Aw amazin, I love this one!” 

 

Just like that, Yaz is thrown into the air again, safe in the Doctor’s arms. She can’t help the giddy squeal she lets out before she’s dropped to the ground again and she has to focus on mirroring The Doctors frantic arms and legs. A small crowd is beginning to form around them, people clearing back to give them some space and Yaz is grateful, because she is certain she would have kicked everyone around her otherwise. 

 

The Doctor seems to be playing up to the crowd, adding more and more swagger to her movements and Yaz is distantly reminded of those old Bollywood movies Sonia loved to make them watch when they were younger. It felt as if they were somehow the only people in the room, everyone else soaked up by the atmosphere as Yaz focused on the Doctor and the Doctor focused on Yaz and they moved in perfect sync with one another. 

 

But then the Doctor spins her, too fast, and she loses her balance when the Doctor lets go. She tumbles out of The Doctor’s grasp and through the crowd until she’s caught in the arms of a stranger. “Woah there, are you ok?” 

 

Yaz turns and rights herself, the woman who caught her is undeniably pretty; big doe eyes wide with concern as she keeps her hands on Yaz’s shoulders. “Yeah, sorry about that.” 

 

The Doctor pushes through the crowd, face awash with worry. “Yaz!” 

 

Yaz is about to speak, about to tell the Doctor to stop being so silly and take her back to the dancefloor but her face goes white as a sheet as soon as she sees her. “Doctor?” 

 

The woman who caught her freezes, hands dropping from Yaz’s shoulder in shock. “Doctor?”

 

The Doctor looks so conflicted with emotion that Yaz worries she’s about to burst into tears and she wishes that for once they could just have a night where Yaz wasn’t completely confused. 

 

The Doctor stares at the woman as if she is a ghost. “Clara.” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha sorry for leaving you on that but hopefully will be able to update soon so don't worry!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Clara catch up and Yaz has a lot of feelings

The Doctor looks like she is going to faint. 

 

The woman, Clara, steps past Yaz, moving towards the Doctor and everything falls to slow motion as Clara reaches to touch the Doctor’s face. “Please tell me you did something stupid and clever to remember me.” 

 

The Doctor seems to snap out of her shock the moment Clara touches her face and she grins as wide as Yaz has ever seen anyone smile in her life. “You know it.”  She puts her hands on Clara’s waist and pulls her into an impossibly tight hug, lifting her a little in excitement. “Couldn’t forget a face like yours for long.” 

 

The Doctor puts Clara down and Yaz feels her stomach drop as she sees the affection written across the two women’s faces. Clara’s expression shifts to a kind of bittersweet longing and Yaz can’t even blame the Doctor for the way her gaze softens at the sight. Yaz feels hot and uncomfortable like she’s intruding on something and she can’t quite figure out how she went from feeling like the centre of the universe to feeling like a piece of furniture. 

 

“Which face is this?” Clara puts her hands on the Doctor’s shoulders with both a practiced intimacy and a renewed curiosity. “What happened to you?” 

 

The Doctor smiles softly and tilts her head appeasingly. “My last face, your face, got caught up with Missy and some Cybermen.”

 

Clara rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “I should have known it would have something to do with her.” A thought pauses her and her expression turns somber. “Doctor, tell me, you weren’t left alone in the end were you?” 

 

The Doctor shrugs. “Only at the very end.” She looks around suddenly, before seeing Yaz and reaching out for her. “Soon as I was me, the TARDIS chucked me out and I met Yaz.” 

 

Yaz blushes and waves at Clara a little awkwardly who offers her a warm smile. “Hi.” 

 

“There are Graham and Ryan too but we left them in Tesco.” The Doctor grins and looks between them excitedly. “I’ve got a fam now.” 

 

Clara laughs. “God, I haven’t missed your attempts at slang.” 

 

The Doctor grins sheepishly. “What about Ashildr? Are you guys still together?” 

 

Yaz watches Clara carefully as she answers. “Oh yeah, but she’s back home. Her appetite for partying isn’t quite as high as mine.” 

 

The Doctor frowns. “If I remember correctly, that wasn’t a good enough excuse for you to go alone when we were traveling.” There’s a hint of mirth in her eyes as she speaks and Clara doesn’t even try to look guilty. 

 

“You would have just spied on me all night anyway.” Clara retorts and turns to Yaz with a conspiratorial wink. “Honestly you can’t leave this one alone for ten minutes without a sulk.” 

 

Yaz tries to laugh along as best as she can but the pit in her stomach only grows as she looks between them. When they were on the TARDIS, Yaz always had the reassurance that she was closer to the Doctor than the boys were, their bond always felt special to just the two of them. Seeing this woman, this stunningly pretty woman, know the Doctor so well felt almost like a betrayal. 

 

Yaz tries to shake the thought from her mind, thankful that Clara and the Doctor’s attention has returned to each other. “I can’t believe you came back here.” Clara mumbles, still a little in awe. 

 

The Doctor offers a sad smile. “We had such an amazing time here.” She looks around the room in wistful nostalgia. “When Yaz said she wanted to come to New York in this era I knew I had to show it to her.” 

 

Yaz wants to run away. 

 

Obviously the Doctor had been here before, Yaz already knew that, she also knew that the Doctor rarely travelled alone but suddenly the whole night felt like a crass recreation of a clearly treasured night between the Doctor and Clara. And how could Yaz ever compare? 

 

The Doctor had barely glanced at her since introducing her, it was clear that Yaz didn’t hold a candle to Clara. Yaz looks between them and silently begs for the Doctor to just look back at her, to notice her again, to give her that starry eyed smile that she had just moments before. 

 

The Doctor doesn’t look at her. 

 

“I’m more surprised that you came back here, especially by yourself. There’s so many parties in space and time.” 

 

Clara shrugs indifferently. “We ended up in victorian London, met up with Jenny and Vastra, it got me feeling a little nostalgic. I really did love it here.” 

 

The Doctor smiles and shakes her head knowingly. “Do you want to see if we can still get up onto the roof?” 

Clara grins. “Absolutely.” 

 

The Doctor practically bounces with excitement, finally looking over to Yaz with a big dopey smile. “Oh, Yaz you are going to love this.” 

 

Clara nods. “You can see the whole city up there, its great.” 

 

The Doctor looks between them. “Amazin, you two head up and I’ll grab us some drinks and be right up after you.” 

 

Yaz smiles awkwardly at Clara. “Sure.” 

 

Clara grins. “Great!” She moves toward Yaz, placing a hand on her shoulder in a way which Yaz can’t decide whether is supposed to be reassuring or condescending. “We can have a girly talk on the way up.” 

 

The Doctor pouts. “You can’t leave me out of those anymore, you know.” 

 

Clara laughs and shakes her head. “Then you best hurry.” 

 

The Doctor spins around toward the bar quicker than Yaz can really register. “I’ll see you in five minutes.” 

 

The Doctor disappears in the crowd before Yaz can reply. “I don’t think she’s going to be five minutes.” 

 

Clara laughs and for a moment Yaz is relieved. “Yeah for a Time Lord he - sorry, she - really isn’t great at measuring time.” 

 

“So long as she doesn’t get distracted and end up trailing all over New York without me.” Yaz says, and it really is a joke, but something in Clara’s expression tells her that her execution may have been slightly sadder than she intended. 

 

Clara smiles softly and offers Yaz a hand. “Shall we?” 

 

Yaz takes her hand and allows herself to be lead through the crowd. 

 

So much for a simple night.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for your comments and feedback, they really do mean the world to me. 
> 
> I struggled a little in getting the dialogue between Clara and 13 right, 13 is so different from 12 but I wanted to capture the idea that they still have that easy, bantery bond. So please let me know your thoughts. 
> 
> Next chapter should hopefully not be long!

**Author's Note:**

> follow my tumblr - trustmeimahealer - for more fun content and to shout at me


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